I recently joined a few support groups for parents of children with heart defects. My name must have been given out today because I've received an outpouring of emails, phone calls and blog comments. I am sitting here with tears pouring down my face after reading the comments from my last blog. Even on our best days (like today) I still feel so alone and different than other parents. But, after reading the comments I feel such a relief. Others have gone before me and made it through. I look forward to talking to each of you TAPVR moms and learning from your experience. Thank you for reaching out to me. I just read the following poem on the website of another TAPVR parent and it really spoke to me, so here it is:
I have been your mother...
Long before you came...
When I first heard your heartbeat...
And thought about your name...
When I looked up at a monitor...
And watched you move your hands...
I thought...hey I'm your mommy...
And I started making plans....
I didn't plan for anything....
Except...the life you'd live....
The cute outfits we'd dress you in...
And all the love we'd give...
But life..it holds no promises...
This wisdom... I impart...
Life's most important lessons...
Are those learned from the heart...
Now everyday...when I wake up...
I say a little prayer...
Lord, watch over my child today...
And let him know your there.
Give me the chance to show him...
What it means to be part...
Of this world we live in...
This is a mother's heart.
I watch my child growing up...
Each day brings something new...
Most people can't imagine...
All the things he has been through...
The scar that runs right down his chest...
Can't easily be missed...
I can no longer doubt it...
Miracles exist...
I have loved this child Lord...
Right from the very start...
And I will remain hopeful...
This is a mother's heart.
Sometimes... it is not easy...
And faith becomes my guide...
For we live in the present...
Hoping... time's on our side...
They tell me that my child is...
A "medical pioneer..."
But surely these are not the words...
A mother hopes to hear...
Most mother's envision that their child...
Will be kind, and successful, and smart...
I picture a thousand tomorrows...
This is a mother's heart.
I see him playing in the park...
And swimming in the pool...
I see him grasping my hands tight...
On his first day of school.
I see him chasing fireflies...
on a starry summer night...
I see his life before me...
He is precious in God's sight...
As I imagine all these things...
My mind can almost chart...
The well-laid plans I have for him...
This is a mother's heart.
And if the time should ever come...
That I must let him go...
Please help me to accept the fact...
That I can't watch him grow...
My blessing...my sweet miracle...
His life...like precious art...
Each memory...a brush stroke....
on the canvas of my heart.
I have been his mother...
Right from the very start...
Nothing can ever break this bond...
This is a mother's heart.
Author: Stephanie Husted
7 comments:
What a tremoundous poem. That really touched my heart. Now I'm the one with tears pouring down my face. Thank you for sharing it with us all Shannon.
Love,
Kimberly
Oops, I mean tremendous. I do know how to spell but my typing with one hand while I hold the baby in the other is not yet perfected ;0)
Shannon,
I'm speechless and in awe.
All my love,
Janet
What amazing new friends. There definitely is nothing as helpful as "Been there. Done that." What wonderful women to be supported by! I know their support and willingness to share their hard-earned wisdom will greatly assist you. The poem spoke volumes, it is the essence of motherhood.
We, too, are TAPVR parents. Grant's story sounds all too familiar. We're very happy that Grant continues to improve. We were directed to your blog through the parent matching program with Saving Little Hearts.
If you wish to contact us you can e-mail us at mcarvella@savinglittlehearts.com
If you wish to read our story it can be found at:
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/mitchellryan/
Peace,
Mike and Jen Carvella
Shannon
We were thrilled to read that you were all able to get out with Grant, he looks so cute all snuggled up.
As always words cannot begin to say how amazing you both are, you are FANTASTIC parents:)
With much love
Maxine
Wow, what a beautiful poem. I am so glad you were able to get out in the fresh air. Today is supposed to be great too, hope you can get out again. Your perseverance is a wonderful testimony of God walking with you through this. Grant is darling. love,Laura F.
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