Yesterday I went to my sister's graduation in Ann Arbor all day and Jim stayed home with Grant. I think I was secretly hoping that I would walk in the door and Jim would bow down and tell me he doesn't know how I do it. :)
This didn't happen. But, what did is even better. While I was gone Grant took a two hour nap (his longest ever) and a one hour nap. He played independently, ate solids and didn't cry once. Jim and I were thanking God and then thought, wow, let's try giving him a bottle awake and see if he'll eat it. I picked him up, fully awake, and he sucked down the bottle. We couldn't believe it. He was like Mr.Normal Baby! Jim and I continued to thank God all night and I was on cloud 9. What a great day.
But then, before bed, I tried to feed Grant another bottle while he was awake. No go. He wanted nothing to do with it until he fell asleep. At this point I started to get discouraged and angry at God. And I realized that when Grant has a good day, I feel loved and cared for by God, and when things don't go well I start doubting God's goodness. I have been wrestling with this since Grant was born. I have been trying to dig into the Bible ( and reading from the website www.peterkreeft.com) as to really come to understand God's character so that on good days and bad my faith in Him and His love can remain strong.
2 comments:
Shannon,
You are so insightful. Thank you for being so open. God will reveal all to you as you continue to seek Him.
Julie W.
I work at a gym on the weekends and I always expect Dustin to say something like, "how do you do it EVERY DAY with 3 kids under 5yo and pregnant with another?!?!?!" and yet, he never does! Darn. But he is not able to get as much done as I am during the day, so that's a bonus. -Erika and Co
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